just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
