The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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