She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
