I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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