I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
