Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize