I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this just has baby written all over it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
