I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
