I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
