Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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