Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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