aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
