I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
