Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
