i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
