sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
