I can tuck mytits in my pants
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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