How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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