My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
