Are we in a gay sports bar?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
