the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
