That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
