why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
