I only kidnapped one of them. chill
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize