fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
