I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
