I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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