In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize