I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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