im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
