had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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