I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
