he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
