i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
