I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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