lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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