I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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