it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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