my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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