You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
