I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
