this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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