It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
