8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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