after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
