Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's shark week go big or go home
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
