There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
