moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think i have two assholes
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
