I'm going to jail i love you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
nutella sex= disaster
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
