i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
