I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
