seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize