every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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