Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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