Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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