Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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