I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
