Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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