Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
