Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
