It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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