in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
