how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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