i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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