she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
